my obligatory blog for Angela

I know, boring... but I try to stay offline most of the holiday season, since I'm generally crafting and baking.

Just wanted to announce to the world how glad I was that someone taught Angela how to use the strikethrough feature on her blog....

I do have some things coming up to blog about, but am waiting on some info from our family doctor. Maybe tomorrow (singing the Nouveau song in my head now)!

oh, this is rich

Hmm... wondering about the accuracy of this site!

had the teen class cracking up this morning....

mostly because I was laughing so hard I was crying, and my niece was laughing so hard she was crying out of sympathy for me... Someone at the opposite side of the table just figured out we are "Mr. and Mrs. Smith." (most of the time they'll only say one, not both together) So they kinda all at once thought of the movie, and someone else says, "heeeey, Mr. and Mrs. Smith!" To which my husband replies, "yeah, they based the movie off our lives."

I just started laughing my eyes out thinking of the two of us being spies. Then one of the boys said to dh, "And they picked Brad Pitt to play YOU?!?" At this point I started crying from the laughing... My poor dh is quite heavy, bald, wears glasses, etc. Basically no way could there be any resemblance. The only thing that unites my dh with Brad Pitt is Bozeman, MT, where scenes from "A River Runs Through It" are filmed. Dh lived there before moving here to marry me.

Maybe you had to be there, but I got to the point that I had to get up and leave the room. Thankfully, dh understood that I wasn't laughing at the lack of similarities between him and Pitt, but just the suggestion that the movie was based on our lives.

And please don't take this as a recommendation to watch that movie. Yuck!

the (not-so) short version

Maybe I'll even post the long version later on, but here is most of today in a nutshell:

Normal morning stuff, get Grace to school.

Have Dr appt at 12:45 for ultrasound. Dr can't see much, sends me downstairs to radiology for better ultrasound, but first for another hCG draw. Calls down before U/S is over and wants us back upstairs in his office.

My hCG has dropped now (last time only rose about 50, where it should have doubled), so he is now sure it's either ectopic or miscarriage. Not wanting to take chances on the possibility of ectopic, he decides on methotrexate injection; this will stop the growth process since the baby cannot survive anywhere outside the uterus, where it was not seen on either U/S.

SO, back downstairs for another blood draw, this time to check my liver and kidney functions, and then to outpatient surgery unit (not sure why "surgery") for the methotrexate injection. One shot in each arm, wait 15 minutes so they can see if I have an allergic reaction, and then we're done. Picked up dinner and then picked up girls.

Got home about 7:15. Poor Lane crashed, has been in bed since about 8. I'll be going in soon myself.

Dr will do more hcg testing next week to make sure levels have gone down, and then in a couple of months, we'll do a dye test to see what the conditions are for my tubes, whether we can expect this to happen again or not. And plan from there.

As short as I could make it; it was a long day! Thanks to all who were praying, the Lord has certainly carried us through the last 11 days.

Public Service Announcement:

"Sterilization Not 100% Effective"

Believe it or not, it's true. Due to what seemed to be stressful and difficult pregnancies, and the continual concern of my diabetes, when I was still awaiting Mercy's arrival, hubby and I decided that I should get my "tubes tied" (quotes because no Dr actually ties the tubes anymore, they are either cut, clipped with rings or bands, or burned) during her (scheduled c-section) birth. More specifically, my OB/GYN used cauterization, which is supposed to be one of the most reliable forms of female surgical sterilization. Statistics tell that one woman in every 250-300 will have a 'tubal failure.' It is more likely to happen when the surgery was performed during a Caesarean delivery, as I had.

Well, 3 years and 7 months later, here I sit, almost one week after finding out that I am indeed expecting another baby. I won't bore you or gross you out with symptoms and dating and all, but just suffice it to say that I have taken enough pregnancy tests AFTER having my tubes tied to keep Wal-Mart itself running. Crazy, I know, but if you wanted it like I have, you just might understand. I joked with a friend that I take pregnancy tests so my cycle would start, since it always seemed to within a day or two after I gave in to the desire to "poas" (pee on a stick, as is often quoted in mommy-type websites).

So last Tuesday afternoon, I paid my $1.06 at the Dollar Tree and stuck the test in my purse. I tested that night, since I never have been able to wait for the first void of the morning. I never expected what I saw....(the pic above)

The past week has been a flurry of seeing the doctor, having my blood drawn (3 times now, and will yet again on Wednesday), and an ultrasound to see if the baby could be located yet. Because of circumstances under which this pregnancy has occurred, I have a high risk for having an ectopic pregnancy (or tubal, though the term means any pregnancy that does not implant within the uterus, which is the only place a baby can survive and grow). Good news is that it is still very early on, so we can watch carefully. All the blood draws have determined that my beta hCG (human growth hormone, only shows up when a woman is pregnant, and doubles every 48-72 hours) is multiplying as it should, but this does not rule out an ectopic.

What would clue us in to it being ectopic is a leveling or dropping hormone level, or if the hormone level continues to incline, but we still cannot locate the baby in the uterus-- for which I'm having another ultrasound done Friday. I hope Lane will get to come with me for that one.

I know and am confident that the Lord will not give me any circumstance that I cannot withstand through his Holy Spirit. If this pregnancy is doomed to fail, then I must find something within it that will help me draw closer to the Lord. If it is successful in terms of a live birth, then the benefit may not be so difficult to see. I am praying the our Righteous God gives me the clear eyes to see what I am to learn from the whole experience. Certainly trust, and patience, are two things which come to mind.

I covet your prayers as well, please join our family in praying for the safety of this child, but above all that the Almighty Lord's will is done in our lives.

I've heard the saying, but never thought it more true until now: "If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans!"

sent our "D" story to Oprah

Clarifying here: I'm NOT a fan, I think I may have watched Oprah about 3 times in my adult life, but I heard about this on the CWD site boards, and I figured if going on national television could help clear up some misconceptions about the type of Diabetes Grace and I deal with, I'd be willing. Here's my submission:

My story begins before I was ever born. My father's father was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes (also called juvenile diabetes) when he was 16 years old and newly married. He did not live long; in that time home testing supplies were simply not available. He died at 36 after going blind and being confined to a wheelchair, while my father was a senior in high school. I never met him. My father's mother and sister were both diagnosed with type 2 diabetes in following years.

In June of 1991, I was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes. I went through many years of ups and downs, thousands of finger-pokes for blood sugar checks and thousands more injections of insulin. I credit my mother with handing all the responsibility of the day-to-day management of this disease to me. It grounded me in a way nothing else could have. I remember her telling me that what happened when I was diagnosed reminded her of the Willie Nelson song "Angel Flying Too Close to the Ground."

After marrying in 1999, I knew that if I wanted children I would have to get better control. I got tired of hearing the myths that people still held onto that diabetic women should not have children. My doctor had talked to me about using an insulin pump, which would give me much better control. I started on it and found out we were expecting our first child a month later. Since then I've had several miscarriages and another healthy birth, so we now have two beautiful daughters, Grace and Mercy.

When Grace was 5, she was also diagnosed with the same disease. I think that was the first time I ever realized how my father must have felt when I was diagnosed-- it was scary, but perhaps not as much for me as it had been for him. Treatments have greatly improved, and quality of life for those with this chronic illness has been increased. Grace accepted it very easily because she has seen all her life how I learned to handle it.

We still have many things to do every day-- we still check our blood, we use our insulin pumps to regulate our blood sugars and to coincide with what we eat. We have constant reminders of the disease being a part of us. Many parents of children with diabetes I have come to know use the phrase, "We don't live with diabetes, diabetes lives with us." I find this to be true-- it's an unwelcome guest at every meal, whenever my daughter wants a snack.

I also struggle with not having medical insurance, and finding difficulty in budgeting to pay for my own with our finances. I have been able to continue using my pump through donations I have received from generous people who have upgraded their pumps to newer versions, so they have old supplies they can no longer use. My greatest struggle however comes through not being able to test my blood as often as I should. I've recieved testing strips donated as well, but these get used up much faster, and as a result of not testing frequently enough, I still suffer from some of the typical symptoms of the disease, and am starting to notice more complications arising. I pray all the time for a cure, but I also know that having diabetes has caused me to be a different person I would have been without it, and my daughter and I share a bond through the difficulties we have to endure.

An actual blog (or: How My Day Was Smashed to Smithereens)

Ahh the joys of days like this... Let me begin for you (actually, before I do, let me warn you that this is LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG!).

Awaken at about 7:30 by dh calling me. He told me several things I'll never remember, as I was still asleep. It was nice, however, to have slept in. Grace is sick, though she isn't acting it. She is going to Dr. at 11:15. After chatting with dh a bit and then getting him to bed, I end up dozing for a few minutes next to him. Got up, showered, walked dog. It's now approaching 10, and I decide that since I haven't eaten breakfast, I should go ahead and try to get my elusive blood draw done. I've already been fasting 11 hours by that point, and so I call my Dr office to make sure they have sent the lab order to the lab, located at the hospital. This order would include all kinds of stuff for my diabetes and general health: HbA1C, cholesterol, triglycerides, Thyroid, etc, etc.

Gal on phone says, I will fax it right now! So I immediately pack up girls and go, hoping to get draw done before Grace's apppointment. Get to hospital and man are there LOTS of people there. Right away I start thinking I'm gonna have to ditch this till after Grace's appointment. I decide to wait and see just how long it'll be, so I check in and sit down. I have a pleasant conversation with a teacher from my old high school. He's a teacher I never had, so I have a good excuse to not be sure of his name! But he was kind in reminding me. He turns out to be Type 2 Diabetic, so I go into all the Diabetes stuff with me and Grace. He and his wife seem amazed that neither Grace nor I are angry about her having "D" (as we abbreviate it on any D board you read). Well, you know, I think for her it was just life as she knew it. I truly think Mercy feels left out sometimes, she often tells me that her pink pump is beeping. *smile* I keep trying to tell her she's going to have to pick a different color, so far no one makes a pink one.

Get called to register and realize it's now 11:05, tell the gal I'll be back. Go to G's appt, they get us right through. Strep test, but Dr doesn't even wait for test to finish before saying that's what she thinks she has. She sends us out with the Rx and instructions to just call back if any of the rest of the fam comes down with it (I thank God for Dr's like this!-- none of the rest of us are even her patients!). Back to the lab. Check in again. Go to register and the gal tells me that the order can't be found. She tries calling the office from where it should have been faxed. It's 12:05 and no one is in the office, they're ALL on lunch. I'm starting to steam a bit. At least I know my sugar's ok, I've been checking and honestly I think the stress is making it stay at a good level. By now I've been fasting for over 13 hours.

SO, I can either wait there till 1:00 when the registration gal can talk to someone there, or go there myself to see if I can get it any quicker. By now I can tell that I am starting to function poorly, even if my sugar is ok. It honestly starts to scare me. Not to mention the crushing headache I have since I didn't have my morning coffee (normally only one cup, honestly!). I think I must look slightly drugged; I feel like my eyes are swollen and half-shut. So I made the decision to go to the office.

Got to the office (it's within the Health Department/ WIC office). Never realized that entire office closed for lunch. So we sit and wait. One nice gal who walked by tried helping us. She eventually found the person who would have talked to me that morning on the phone, says she'll be a little late back from lunch. Office opens at 1:00, I go straight to the desk of the gal who said she'd be a bit late. She comes and checks out my stuff on the computer. She sees that the order was first sent in July, I agree, and explain that it has taken me this long to get the 12-hour fast in, as it is nearly impossible for a T1 Diabetic. She notes that they were all canceled about 2 weeks later, which I had expected and I tell her that was why I called and made sure they were faxed this morning. Then she says she can't send the order, only a Dr or nurse can, and there are none in today. I am really restraining myself, because I know it is so completely NOT her fault. Tell her thank you, and get up to leave. Total time fasting 14+ hours. And still no bloodwork. ARGH!

We went straight to McDonald's. I thoroughly enjoyed my double cheeseburger and 1/2 the fries, along with a chipotle bbq chicken snackwrap, and iced tea (that I didn't put enough ice in-- it must have been JUST made and still warm in the brewer!).

Next we drove to Secretary of State-- both licenses needed renewing, and I wanted to make sure to do it before tomorrow just in case the state decides to shut down government offices due to nothing resolving the ginormous state deficit. I remember it happening in another state last year, and I knew that if they at all suspect that they won't meet the Oct. 1 deadline, they won't wait till Sept 30 to shut down government offices! Thankfully, that was quick and quite painless, not counting the $145 it cost for 2 plate renewals. Very thankful dh has the job to pay for these necessaries.

Next we go back to hometown, stop at local store for eggs. Go home, drop off eggs. To pharmacy to fill G's Rx. To 2nd-hand store to kill time before Farmer's Market opens. Go to Farmer's Market, buy some sweet peppers. Got to talk briefly to my Grandma C-- she's getting around nicely with a walker and my Uncle.

Go home, wake up dh, he's going to work early. The rest of the night went pretty smoothly, except that I didn't get to make my planned dinner. Oh well, flexibility is a must as a parent, isn't it? I have leftover potato/corn chowder; girls have sandwiches and bananas, dh has turkey plate from last night's dinner.

I had planned to do the dishes today (really, Mom, I DID!!!). They're still stacked up. *sigh* Ok, so maybe the WHOLE day wasn't a total loss, but man, long about 4:00, it really felt like it!

Thanks for reading my rant, it's now over. :o)

I'm here, really!

It has been pointed out to me that I have not blogged in a long time.

Here you go Angela.

:oP

I've Been Tagged!!!!

rules:
1) each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves
2) people who're tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things & post these rules
3) at the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged & list their names (Angela, you didn't list them!! ;op)
4) don't forget to leave a comment telling them they're tagged & asking them to read your blog

here's 8 random things about me!

1~ if for some strange reason I were to marry again, and my new husband's last name started with T, my initials (if I'd kept them all from the start, that is) would spell IMLOST. Incidentally, if something happened to Lane, I WOULD be lost!!!

2~ I'm the baby of my family. On both sides after my parents remarried, I was still the youngest. No contest on my step-dad's side: sister and brother are 4 and 5 years older. On my step-mom's side though, sister is 3 years older, but brother is only older than me by 16 days. One time we really fooled a waiter at Bill Knapp's (we were there for our birthdays, sometime right in between them), making him think we were twins delivered that far apart. He just looked at my step-mom and commented that the labor must have been terrible. She just nodded with a smile. He was wearing a pin that said, "Be nice to me, I'm new."

3~ I was the first graduate of the Christian school at our church.

4~ my family is strong living proof that both type 1 and type 2 diabetes have genetic factors. 2 generations of type 2 and 3 generations of type 1.

5~ I was in band while in public school (waving at fellow band nerd Angela), played alto saxophone, with short stints on French Horn and for one piece in high school I played the bells and marimba. Band was the only reason I didn't pursue going to an advanced-placement type school for math & science. If I'd gone to that school, I'd have had to drop band.

6~ our younger daughter's name is Mercy. There are 3 years and 4-1/2 months between the births of our two girls. When Grace was born, Lane picked Mercy's name ("if we have another girl..."). It took that amount of time for her name to 'grow' on me. I didn't want anyone to think we were 80's freaks and that Mercy was short for Mercedes. Later on I looked up Mercedes in a baby name book. It's Spanish for Mercy. Go figure. Lane calls her Mercedes regularly now. LOL

7~ we have owned I think 12 different vehicles since marrying almost 8 years ago. Only one was a standard transmission, and I still can't drive those, though my brother Blaine says I do well in reverse.

8~ I took my first plane trip two weekends ago to Colorado for my brother Dan's wedding. Flying was great, the wedding was awesome! The dehydration/elevation headache was not so great.

Tagging: MJ, BreadLaDee, Minkydo, Jaybird, Leni (Sorry gals, I don't have too many blogging friends!)

(Early) Monday Menu blog

Well I figured while I was sitting here on Saturday morning waiting for things to get moving, I'd post my menus for the next week. They're a bit abbreviated since I am leaving Thursday for my brother's wedding in Colorado.

Sunday-- dh is preparing a Mother's Day feast, so far consisting of at least steak and shrimp, not sure what else he has in mind...

Monday-- Ziti (sort of), salad, and softball practice for 6 year old. The "Ziti" is actually "Crock Pot Almost Lasagna" but dh won't let me call it Lasagna. I keep trying to defend it, saying, "that's why it is labeled 'Almost'!" He still doesn't buy it. ;o)

Tuesday-- Bread/Egg bake (I've explained this in an earlier post) with veggies and sausage

Wednesday-- leftovers

Thursday I leave; return Saturday, when we'll have frozen pizzas and salad.

Btw, tonight we're having fried catfish nuggets, baked potato fries, and dipping veggies. Need to thaw fish!

am I the only one...

who can't get through "The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe" movie (newer live-action one) without crying?? Humph! I suppose it's a good thing though, huh?

just for fun

Read this on Teachingmom today, HAD to share it!

Take 60 seconds to do this, I guarantee you will show someone else, it's too funny not to.

1. go to www.google.com
2 . click on "maps"
3. click on "get directions"
4. type "New York" in the first box (the "from" box)
5. type "London" in the second box (the "to" box)
6. hit get directions
7. scroll down to step #24 in the directions

Hahaaaaa!

Monday Menu Plan

OH I'd almost forgotten about this!

Mon- leftovers (it's Mondays this month)

Tue- breakfast, probably pancakes, eggs and sausage

Wed- Tuna Noodle Casserole, salad

Thu- not sure-- I'm doing my "first" show as a repeat Pampered Chef consulant. I'll have to figure out something quick for the girls and our favorite babysitter, Ms. Kim.

Fri- Pigs in a blanket & fries

Sat- Calzones YUM

Sun- Beef, Mushroom & barley soup; dh will probably call it stew, oh well, I've gotta get the soups in before it's too warm... although if the weather today is any indicator, I may be doing myself in! It's pushing 70 already at just after 10 am, normal high this time of year might be the mid 50s!

Enjoy!

How God Selects a Mother of a Child with Diabetes

For mom, and sort of, for me too.

HOW GOD SELECTS THE MOTHER OF A CHILD WITH DIABETES

by Erma Bombeck

Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures and a couple by habit. Did you ever wonder how mothers of children with diabetes are chosen? Somehow I visualize God hovering over earth selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As he observes, he instructs his angels to make notes in a giant ledger.

"Armstrong, Beth, son. Patron Saint Matthew."

"Forrest, Marjorie, daughter, Patron Saint Cecilia."

"Rutledge, Carrie, twins. Patron Saint Gerard. He's used to profanity."

Finally, He passes a name to an angel and smiles, "Give her a child with diabetes."

The angel is curious. "Why this one, God? She's so happy."

"Exactly", smiles God. "Could I give child with diabetes to a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel."

"But has she the patience?" asks the angel.

"I don't want her to have too much patience, or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off, she'll handle it. I watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independence that is so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I am going to give her has her own world. She has to make it live in her world and that's not going to be easy."

"But, Lord, I don't think she even believes in You."

God smiles. "No matter. I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness."

The angel gasps. "Selfishness? Is that a virtue?"

God nods. "If she cannot separate herself from the child occasionally, she will never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with less than perfect."

"She does not realize it yet, but she is to be envied. I will permit her to see clearly the things I see .... ignorance, cruelty, prejudice ... and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing my work as surely as if she is here by my side."

"And what about her patron saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in mid air. God smiles. "A mirror will suffice."

I love you, Mom, can't wait to see you next week!

Must.... control.....hand....of.....death!!

grrrrr I'm gonna kill that dog sooner or later!

almost 3yo, who is a continual grazer, brings me a pkg of ham (wrapped in plastic, in a freezer bag) that I placed on counter top, intended for this evening's pizza. "Mommy, have a piece of ham?"

"nope," I say, "go put it back on the counter!" Here's where I went awry-- should have checked to see if she indeed got it on the counter...

few minutes later I go to refill my water, and while it's warming up in the microwave (I can't drink it cold when it's 4 above outside!), I notice a piece of plastic wrap on the floor. I think, "huh? Where did that come from?" Then I look to the counter, where sits the empty freezer bag labeled "ham."

"MerCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE?!?"

She comes tromping in.

"Where did you put the ham?"

"on da floor."

"o.k." I'm not mad at her at all-- like I said, I should have checked.

If it weren't 4 above, that dog would be locked on the back porch all day.....

Monday Menu Plan

It's that time again!

Mon- Egg/bread bake (a very simple breakfast type baked dish you can 'personalize' for your family) fruit salad
Tue- Curly Pasta & Chicken Toss
Wed- Sausage Gravy & Biscuits
Thu- soup from the freezer (have several done up), bread/rolls
Fri- Pizza (don't know if I'm buying or making)
Sat- Pigs in a blanket
Sun- Meatloaf, mashed potatoes, green beans

The egg/bread bake was really simple. Dh thought it would be soggy, because it has so much milk, but it turned out really delicious!

Butter/grease 13x9 pan, line bottom with 4-6 slices bread (remove crust if desired). Layer 8oz shredded cheddar cheese over bread. Sprinkle lightly with onion and garlic powder. Beat together 4 eggs and 2-1/4 c milk; pour over bread and cheese. Bake at 350 for 45 minutes. Variation: add desired sauteed veggies (green pepper/onion/mushrooms, etc) and/ or cooked breakfast meat (crumbled sausage or bacon, or ham cut into bite-size pieces). We used bacon and placed it on the bread before the cheese. Tonight I'm trying the sausage with mushrooms and onions.

Joy in a Box

To a diabetic who has been unable to use her insulin pump for almost a year, due to no insurance and no $$ to buy her own supplies to use said pump, THIS is what JOY looks like, wrapped up in a nice big box! Thank you SO much to a man from California who will here remain unnamed. And praise be to God, from Whom ALL blessings flow!

Monday Menu blog

It's that time again, the Monday Menu blog. I had to shuffle tonight's menu since we didn't eat what I'd planned yesterday.

Mon.-- Easy Creamy Tomato Pasta, salad, garlic bread

Tue.-- Tuna Noodle casserole, green beans

Wed.-- leftovers (or sausage gravy & biscuits if there aren't enough leftovers)

Thu.--Pork balsamic, buttered noodles, broccoli/cauliflower

Fri.-- Enchiladas, salad

Sat.-- Pizza rolls (homemade), cut veggies

Sun.-- Crock pot Chicken Jambalaya (this may be the only way in which I can safely serve chicken and rice together, otherwise it's a no-no...)

Just realized I have an insane amount of pasta planned for this week. Is the Lord preparing me for a 'marathon' weekend? hmmm...

Monday Menu Plan

Hey MJ, thanks for giving me an excuse to get my butt back to blogging... ;o)

Here ya are:

Monday-- omelets, hash browns with peppers, fruit

Tuesday-- Spiced Pork Chops, rice, squash, broccoli

Wednesday-- leftovers

Thursday-- Potato corn chowder & grilled cheese

Friday-- Tacos

Saturday-- Sub sandwiches, baked fries

Sunday-- Creamy Tomato Pasta, salad

*notes* I make my menus for a month at a time, and each month I will choose one day of the week to make "breakfast" for dinner, and another day of the week as leftovers night. I am required by dh to make "Fun" foods on Fridays & Saturdays (LOL isn't that subjective??) .