Friday, October 19, 2007

the (not-so) short version

Maybe I'll even post the long version later on, but here is most of today in a nutshell:

Normal morning stuff, get Grace to school.

Have Dr appt at 12:45 for ultrasound. Dr can't see much, sends me downstairs to radiology for better ultrasound, but first for another hCG draw. Calls down before U/S is over and wants us back upstairs in his office.

My hCG has dropped now (last time only rose about 50, where it should have doubled), so he is now sure it's either ectopic or miscarriage. Not wanting to take chances on the possibility of ectopic, he decides on methotrexate injection; this will stop the growth process since the baby cannot survive anywhere outside the uterus, where it was not seen on either U/S.

SO, back downstairs for another blood draw, this time to check my liver and kidney functions, and then to outpatient surgery unit (not sure why "surgery") for the methotrexate injection. One shot in each arm, wait 15 minutes so they can see if I have an allergic reaction, and then we're done. Picked up dinner and then picked up girls.

Got home about 7:15. Poor Lane crashed, has been in bed since about 8. I'll be going in soon myself.

Dr will do more hcg testing next week to make sure levels have gone down, and then in a couple of months, we'll do a dye test to see what the conditions are for my tubes, whether we can expect this to happen again or not. And plan from there.

As short as I could make it; it was a long day! Thanks to all who were praying, the Lord has certainly carried us through the last 11 days.

Monday, October 15, 2007

Public Service Announcement:

"Sterilization Not 100% Effective"

Believe it or not, it's true. Due to what seemed to be stressful and difficult pregnancies, and the continual concern of my diabetes, when I was still awaiting Mercy's arrival, hubby and I decided that I should get my "tubes tied" (quotes because no Dr actually ties the tubes anymore, they are either cut, clipped with rings or bands, or burned) during her (scheduled c-section) birth. More specifically, my OB/GYN used cauterization, which is supposed to be one of the most reliable forms of female surgical sterilization. Statistics tell that one woman in every 250-300 will have a 'tubal failure.' It is more likely to happen when the surgery was performed during a Caesarean delivery, as I had.

Well, 3 years and 7 months later, here I sit, almost one week after finding out that I am indeed expecting another baby. I won't bore you or gross you out with symptoms and dating and all, but just suffice it to say that I have taken enough pregnancy tests AFTER having my tubes tied to keep Wal-Mart itself running. Crazy, I know, but if you wanted it like I have, you just might understand. I joked with a friend that I take pregnancy tests so my cycle would start, since it always seemed to within a day or two after I gave in to the desire to "poas" (pee on a stick, as is often quoted in mommy-type websites).

So last Tuesday afternoon, I paid my $1.06 at the Dollar Tree and stuck the test in my purse. I tested that night, since I never have been able to wait for the first void of the morning. I never expected what I saw....(the pic above)
The past week has been a flurry of seeing the doctor, having my blood drawn (3 times now, and will yet again on Wednesday), and an ultrasound to see if the baby could be located yet. Because of circumstances under which this pregnancy has occurred, I have a high risk for having an ectopic pregnancy (or tubal, though the term means any pregnancy that does not implant within the uterus, which is the only place a baby can survive and grow). Good news is that it is still very early on, so we can watch carefully. All the blood draws have determined that my beta hCG (human growth hormone, only shows up when a woman is pregnant, and doubles every 48-72 hours) is multiplying as it should, but this does not rule out an ectopic.
What would clue us in to it being ectopic is a leveling or dropping hormone level, or if the hormone level continues to incline, but we still cannot locate the baby in the uterus-- for which I'm having another ultrasound done Friday. I hope Lane will get to come with me for that one.
I know and am confident that the Lord will not give me any circumstance that I cannot withstand through his Holy Spirit. If this pregnancy is doomed to fail, then I must find something within it that will help me draw closer to the Lord. If it is successful in terms of a live birth, then the benefit may not be so difficult to see. I am praying the our Righteous God gives me the clear eyes to see what I am to learn from the whole experience. Certainly trust, and patience, are two things which come to mind.
I covet your prayers as well, please join our family in praying for the safety of this child, but above all that the Almighty Lord's will is done in our lives.
I've heard the saying, but never thought it more true until now: "If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans!"